All's well that ends well~
We bring Mirage home and keep a close eye on her. Margaret cries and I re assure her, You did everything right. You saved her life. She cries and cries. Without a series of miracles, Mirage would be dead. (Poison is hideous!! Don't use it on animals!)
Tonight Mirage will sleep on the bed so I can monitor her breathing. And be a comfort to her.
As I am meditating, sitting on the floor sandwiched between the filing cabinet and bed rail , I can feel Mirage send tremors through my back body; she is convulsing. Tremors which eventually lead to vomiting around midnight. The pile of blue ( more poison) and charcoal kibble sphew over the white bedspread. I clean it up as well as I am able and hold her as she sleeps. I hope for the best!
In the morning Dad and Margaret want to take me to the theater to see Blind Side.
I am still too unsure of Mirage's status to ask her to work.
As the day goes on and she keeps the next meal down, I am more confidant that the 63 tablets of Vitamin K will indeed stop internal bleeding. The poison will reside within her body for about three weeks, so discontinuing the Vitamin therapy could still mean death.

We are visiting Dad and Margaret in frigid Omaha...as we hop out of the car Mirage strains to investigate her new surroundings. She is on leash. . . Margaret says, "Oh, she can't get into anything in this garage." Under my breath I add, "sure. . ."
This was a prophetic thought.
We are carrying a bag of trash to the dumpster and then picking up the mail. The ice covering the street makes it too treacherous for Dad or Margaret, at age 85, to manage.I have Yak Trax on!
Mirage dives into the corner of the garage as we pass through the door. Gulping and bobbing head ensue. The 40 mph winds pull the bag of trash from my right arm;scatters.
I reach with my left mittened hand to see what Mirage is eating. Out falls a block of compressed blue crystals: this can't be good...
We finish our route to dumpster and mail room.
"Margaret, Mirage just ate something blue in the garage."
"Do you know what it was?"
"Oh. honey, Rat poison!"
"Do you have the container?"
"Yes, get the magnifying glass for me."
"Force water."
I get Mirage to the trough and Margaret calls Mary for a vet referral.
Dad puts on his shoes. We are off!
The Blizzard is upon us. We need to go about four miles. We pass two accidents: cars into snowbanks. Dad hangs a left off Harrison and we slid into staff parking. I fight the wind and follow a narrow icy path to the back door of the clinic. It is unlocked. Two yapping dogs 'greet' us, my nerves on edge.
A bookkeeper escorts us to the waiting room where I fill out the paperwork and call GDB repeatedly. They are at lunch.
We are taken immediately to a room where Dr. Burbach questions me, and examines Mirage who appears normal despite being within '10 minutes' of the END of her life.
Her stomach is pumped and she gladly eats the charcoal that will absorb the hideous poison. Why? We are somewhat assured that we have done all the right things. and she should be okay.

Carrots: A panacea
It all comes down to carrots folks. . .!
"Mirage,Come!" (she doesn't) "Mirage, Carrots!" She turns on a dime and comes.
(Time to trim the toenails)"Mirage, Come!" (she hides) A pile of carrots and the toenail clippers do the trick!
"Mirage come!" (time for your annual bath) "Ooooooh La LA, Carrots, Mirage, Come!"
Well, a bathtub full of floating carrots may just work :-)
Yes it's true.
Last week when I had had enough of the new aroma (BO and pee) I knew it was time, after all it is Advent. And a girl needs to be born again, Fresh like the sweet Christ dumpling. So I call mirage. She comes and has no idea what I have in mind. I quickly close the bathroom door. Trapped!
Now I have a choice: angry and manic or sweet and compassionate. I don't like that she is stoubborn and her cowering attitude can set me off on the wrong path.
"Mirage? What's the matter girl?" "You afraid?" "Something scary?" " I love You, Mirage." "Trust me."
Gently i place a hand under her chest and another under her pelvis. I lift her into the warm soapy water and lift each carrot to the surface so she can feast before the business of bathing begins.
Happily she munches, diving for carrot remnants that escape from her soft mouth."Ready?"
I wet her and begin to massage the shampoo around her neck, limbs and loins. , "See. it's not so bad!"
There would be candles and rose petals if I didn't need the brighter lights to keep the soap from her chocolate colored, trusting eyes.
Love You!

The day begins just like every other
"Feed, water and relieve."
The only difference: I couldn't find Mirage's collar and it was dark in the kitchen and she was in a hurry to get outside.
I always say, "Where are you?"
And she comes alongside my left side. I skillfully wrap the leash around her neck and clip it to itself. Opening the back door I say, "Come!"
She stares at me as the light spills into the kitchen.
"Mirage, come!" and she trots past me to relieve.
I have no idea what she was thinking but I know what crossed my mind when I saw her 'hook up'.
Ha hahahahah Hahahahah Hahahahah I really have been giggling all day.

Each morning before meditation, Mirage is fed, watered and relieved. This is her 'walking meditation'. She swirls and dips amid this swirling sea of red leaves. Then we sit. . . .
Later this afternoon we took our daily tour of the village. I really haven't been looking forward to these 'trips'. (Which may include a 'trip' as she alternately pulls, drags and lunges after this and that.)
"Oh! was that a worm?"
"Where are the geese going?"
" Can I chase them?"
"That smelled like Heidi!"
"What was she doing here?"
"Maybe I can still snitch a raspberry, no maybe a tomato."
The list is endless . . . I know these monkeys swing in my mind too.
So we are training our minds. "Yoga stills the fluctuations of the mind."
I practice asana and Mirage practices her art; walking.
Today I remembered a little tool called a 'gentle leader'. It is a soft woven piece to nuzzle the muzzle. It fastens behind her ears and she remains centered and focused.



Our walk was ruly a J O Y !!! She walked with pomp and pride and we bounced beautifully along. Homeward we even noticed this sweet surprise:

Kirtan at the Shanti was pure Bliss on Saturday night!
Michelle, DJ and Nancy picked us up in the Infiniti. It was so wonderful. Often jarring to ride the c van an hour each way. Mirage and I quickly settled upon our blanket for two hours of prayerful chant. We even sang Amazing Grace! (minus saved a 'wretch' like me.) I would love to dance, but Mirage is uncomfortable on the dance floor. As we cuddled I was content to sway, tap and shine. Mirage's ears really perked up as Leraine piped on her didgeridoo. I thought Mirage might bark! Many people did not realize Mirage was even in attendance until we arose to depart.
I would have loved to say my good byes and thank yous to Leraine and Shantala, who's dog was put in their car for the performance. Mirage has her routes and they aren't too spontaneous. (Find the door.)
It was a sweet evening. Yvonne is committed to our growth and opening up our vistas. Thank You Dear Teacher!!! I must buy the new CD called HARMONY.

DOG FINDS SATCHITANANDA!





















Mirage has a new practice! Or maybe she is reflecting my new practice.
Since August, I have been joyfully rising each morning to practice meditation, simply moving into the heart God: the headwaters of Truth, Consciousness and Bliss ( or satchitananda). I imagine my mind like the still surface of Crater Lake. I simply relax and breathe, allowing what comes up to arise and 'fade'. Mirage and I enjoy the singing bowl meditation music that we first heard at Sleeping Lady, the retreat center on Icicle Creek outside of Leavenworth,Washington. Yvonne took our Shanti yoga kula there.
I sit and now, my dog 'sits' and directs her gaze toward the earth most everyday, just like me. Is her mind pure being or is she intently studying an earthworm colony preparing for Winter ?
Once in a while she skillfully chooses sleep over her formal practice (smiles). She knows that there will be many other opportunities during the day for her inner journey. We are all perfect just the way we are! Especially Mirage (Raja Ram).

"Mirage want more cookies!"
Well they are doggie cookies...made of peanut butter. . . .DJ buys them and likes to give Mirage a treat after yoga class. Mirage says,If you ever have a vacancy I can move in with you and be your best friend. . .I must find out more about this doggie treat!

Happy Birthday to me. . Mirage has finally connected with me on a heart level after three and a half years. It was so clear the moment it 'happened'.
She was grazing for bunny poo and I said,"Mirage, That's enough!!"
She stopped and looked at me with respect...Ah ha!

It's been a week of being sick, slow and at home; eye to eye.
Most evenings we head out, because we both need to stir a little as the sun goes down.Mirage takes a sharp right at the curb and we fairly fly down the street to a space with a bench under the sweetgum trees. How beautiful she looks against the autumn tapestry of leaves. What a good gorgeous dog.
Thank You Ellery and Guide Dogs for the Blind, for choosing me.

Mirage continues to amaze me; the more I grow, the more she grows!
This last week in San Francisco she surely rose to the occasion. It was a difficult trip. The complications of seeing so little in a large and humming city coupled with travel by plane, cable cars, taxis, shuttles, escalators, elevators, and moving sidewalks. Mirage never shyed away from any challenge, evn relieving on the street aside the rattling cable cars.

Tomorrow we leave for San Francisco. We are one of thirty five chosen for The Insights exhibition: " I am an artist who is visually impaired.
Mirage will accompany Dan and me. He is a little worried but I feel the need to work her in complicated settings. I will be my best handler possible. Dan is concerned about how she lunges for food on the ground, as we are dining at some fine restaurants in San Francisco and she is bound to 'lunge'. Our practice settings are so controlled that when the real event is taking place it bears no resemblence to our practices. Yikes!
Last year Noranne accompanied Mirage and me to this same Exhibit. And we made it a short trip. We were still friends when it was all over, and I thought it went well.
So this year Dan and I will take Mirage. That's the difference. She won't take me. Mirage acts differently when Dan is along;,she takes the subordinate roll at times and I rely on him. We'll let you know how we do.
Tomorrow night The Boulevard Restaurant. Wednesday night The E&O Trading Company and Thursday after the opening reception we'll meet Janet, Nora and Dan at the Stinking Rose (garlic!!) restaurant. I am packing just now. For sure, we will sleep well as a result of too much fun or exhaustion. . . .
respectfully submitted! SuzyG "A R T I S T E"

Let's see, we missed at least three chapters!
1. Mirage was Lost for 15 hours( which ended happily and luckily.)
2. Our Art event to benefit The Children's Network in Clark County
(We couldn't convince anyone to escort us so we made our own courage and Just Did it!.)
3. Making a daily walk something I look forward to (ended with the cold snap!)

We were able to squeeze one more campout into the fading (but illumined) days of Summer. Back to the Metolius for our annual sleepover. Why I love laying in a tent alongside the river I can't say... As it comes from the right it makes an "eeeee' song as it trips it's way over riffles. Then in my left ear it finds depth and the sound becomes "uuuuu".
Mirage sits contentedly at river's edge and takes it all in.
On this trip we encountered a shower while cooking blueberry dumplings over the campfire.



It did not dampen our enthusiasm for the Feast. Later we all snuggled together in our sleeping bags with Mirage! She loves waking up with us: eye level.

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Making progress after all these years. Three and a half to be exact!
Just recently did I wean Mirage of kibble at every curb LOL for sure, It's a wonder we survived.
Now I think things changed at the Sleeping Lady Retreat when I realized how little I can see and was so reliant upon her visual skills. We have been working hard each night doing a few miles together just before sunset, really bonding nicely.
Today at the pools the regulars tried to 'make contact' with her but she was too busy guiding me around the pool to notice.
It's nice when people say, Mirage is working beautifully.
Dan also mentioned it while we were working our way through the rain to our car after lunch with Ellery and Derek (Mirage's puppy raiser).
A bonus for me Mirage is smiling so much these days. Yeah I am finally blind enough to need this precious animal :-)

I was recently thinking,"How many words are in Mirage's vocabulary?" About 35!

Kibble
Ice cube
Sit
Heel
Stay
Lie down
Say your Prayers
Left
Right
Forward
Find door
That's enough
Hop up
Mirage
No
Easy
Where r u
Come
Halt
Let's go
Toy
Baby
Home
Potty
Curb
Peanut butter
Daddy
Heidi
Willow
mo mo
Bedtime
Good girl
Walkies

Icicle Creek, two weeks in a row. It's located in central Washington State near Leavenworth. The forst retreat was to Sleeping Lady with my yoga kula from Shanti. I called my grad rep to ask if I should 'just let Mirage be a dog ' for the weekend. (She may have thought I was nuts!!) In fact, she said no. I knew that all 25 friends would want to befriend my dog! She said choose one to 'sit' Mirage while you are horseback riding. I did Thanks Robin. (They took a nap together.)
The truth is that Teacher made an announcement "leave Susan's dog alone, she will be working to keep Susan safe." Boy was she right on, as was Malinda.
When I am home I actually FORGET I am visually impaired. I how where everything is! I put it there. . .
Once away to a new space I was in tears quickly as I realised my fears anew. Mirage on the other hand knew exactly where our cabin was and the dining hall. . . Truly a great dog. No one bothered her at all.
One funny (scary) thing happend. We were at the Hot tub alone. Mirage stepped out upon the blue plastic floating cover and quickly found herself in hot water. . .104 degrees. Soaking wet and no footing to speak of. I grabbed her harness and lifted her out. Whew! Thank God for my little blue eyes. She was heavy.She also enjoyed carousing for plums in the organic garden. She's had a fabulous summer: tomatoes, raspberries and now plums. She's a gleaner. . . .
We returned to 8 mile campground the following week to camp. She is a delightful bed warmer.

Mirage sleeps quietly.
She has no idea that we are about to launch the biggest EVENT of my life :-)
33 people with Retinitis Pigmentosa and their 8 guide dogs are flying into Portland as we speak!
Some by car, some by train and one by Greyhound with his guide Atticus; soon the party will begin.
I just took a baby aspirin and Dan went for ice, than to work off his stress at the Gym.
I am so Thankful for the capability to plan and execute this four day party, showcasing beautiful Portland Oregon!
"Let's Roll!"

Blueberry Girls~
I parked Mirage 'safely' under a Blueberry bush to keep her out of the heat on Tuesday. . . little did I know that she was feasting on the fruit which had fallen to the ground.
And then continued to nibble fruit from the bushes, wrapping herself into quite a tangle.
Once freed, she ate all the berries someone had emptied into a lime green plastic dishpan nearby.
Oh God, I hope the blueberries will not prove fatal.
She has stopped eating, this is odd. All the blueberries you can pick Mirage.

Mirage and I are almost too busy for words. . . literally.
We have been dancing fools twice this week.
On Sunday night we went to Bethany Vineyards, amid the drizzle to picnic, swill wine and dance the night away.
Mirage is such a good sport :-) She just took me to the dance floor and then stood there (duh) patiently as we all danced around her black silky beauty. We laughed and I heard someone exclaim, " She is the highlight of the whole evening!"
I adore this little dog.

By the way we were celebrating the advent of Dan's 54th birthday, bring it on!

Kirtan at the Shanti Yoga Studio was sheer bliss. Mirage really enjoyed the chanting and dancing. . .not to mention the carrot which she spotted amid the sea of vegan delights. Of course I gave it to her.
An added delight was a fellow yogini and her guide dog puppy Eloise. Eloise is a frisky, lanky 18 month old who is ready to return to GDB for training. A very pretty puppy.


She and Mirage locked eyes and wanted to play with all their hearts. Eloise was less able to lie down and be still, happy to gaze with love at one another. They lay contentedly in our laps for two hours before they had a chance to meet and sniff.
Leraine the musician played didgeriedoo, guitar and flute and we vibrated with joy. Can't wait for the next Halleluia!

Up with the Farmers, and off to the Washougal Farmer's Market place. . . . . 6:45 AM
We set up our tent and tables, and card racks and chairs to settle in. . . .
Mirage was great it was between 90 and something degrees under a blue canopy. She was astounding although she cost me a few sales, so what?
I needed to make money and netted $26.
Intention. . .never under estimate the word. Every time a customer walked into our tent, I hopped up to greet them and say, "I want to sell you a greeting card for two dollars."
And I did.
Otherwise we would have gone gone with everything we set up.
(Alms for the blind.)
We had a great day and I actually could have sold the paintings are that being featured at the Insights Exhibit in October. . .
Netter get busy and re create thodr hydrangeas. . .
I am thankful for Susan Williams and the experience.

The Volunteer Tea. . . . .
"Hi I am Cathy, are you training that dog?"
"No. we graduated from GDB three years ago, I can still see a little."
"Is she a therapy dog?"
"No. we help children read. The children read to Mirage. . . ."
"But you can't help.. ."
"Yes, if they have trouble with a word I ask them to spell it. . ."
"Ohhhhhhhhhh."
(Good God)
And the brownies were delicious.
Respectfully submitted, Susan and Mirage

Mirage and I are off to San Francisco!
On Friday we received a call from Lighthouse for the Blind that three of our painting have been chosen for the Insights 2009 Art Exhibit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
After checking an empty mailbox for five days, our dream has come true. I wonder ( and love the question) what will happen when my eyes are so 'poor' that I will produce unacceptable to the jury entries. One day. . .and I do trust and have faith, that something else will come along to give me even more joy.
God has blessed me to be a blessing to others.
My little dog, Mirage and I will travel to California in October for the Opening at the City Hall. This will be my 60th birthday celebration and Dan will come too.
I wonder if Mirage will remember the 2008 trip and be a great Guide for me. . .

Here lies my 'Hot Dog!'
Obviously, the pool has opened, four days now and we haven't missed a day. We pack a bulging bag: 2 towels, sunglasses, sun screen moisturizer, books, toys, water bowl and waters, squirt guns, glasses and and Apple phone. Of course, there is kibble :-)
We start out in the shade and after a while, Mirage slinks into the hot sun to bake. She is not only tan, she is a blackened beauty.
She is the only dog permitted at the pool and she has a steady string od admirerers who come to pay their respects after seven and a half lonesome months.
There is the pool community/ and we love sun and swimming.
Mirage has never shown any interest in jumping into the deep blue waters. . .perhaps because she is in her harness, and knows she is not on 'vacation'.
Or she remembers her first dip in the fridgid Washougal River. Oopsies, Mirage!

Mirage has really been her best ever guide dog this week.
She deserves an award for Going Beyond the everyday Wonderful Dog!
this week began with a lot of grief and heartache. You know, you can only keep it at bay for so long and the dam bursts. . . . .
God Bless Mirage: sweet, obedient, attentive, loving, understanding, self sacrificing. . .so into surrender. She truly laid aside her ego to accommodate my pain.
That's all I can say.
I LOVE her so much. By being so 'good' and sweet, my life re surfaced and I didn't go from depressed to angry. I can learn so much for how she just rolls with things, and is so skillful at being a humble servant, and just doing her job so obediently.
An Amazing guide dog.And that's an understatement. . . .
Thanks, Ellery and Guide Dogs for the Blind.
I really can trust her.

Mirage meets Mr. Gizmo
Mirage amazes me with her mild demeanor. She laid still and they sniffed one another at a safe distance.
Then the sweet furry ball hissed and spat and nearly clawed Mirage.
I was thankful for Mr. Gizmo's hasty exit.
All was peaceful until it was time to go. . . Mirage, off tie down was free to find the kitty litter box.
The rest of the story is too gross to publish! Sic Mirage

Thank You Dan. . .and Mirage
Apparently these two went shopping for the perfect card. Mirage writes, " Sure wish I could think of a way to treat you like a dog and spoil you the way you spoil me."
Gosh, I don't think I spoil her.I don't treat her like a pet. I love and value her guide dog skills.
We just returned from our evening stroll. She loves to work. She loves to strut her stuff and check out the neighborhood. Mother's Day sunset was very beautiful a salmon colored horizon under an ominous watercolor gray sky. Thank you God my my sweet girl and my husband and this wonderful relationship moving into blindness more deeply.
Today at Brunch Dan asked that Mirage stay home. We took our ninety something year old aunt and uncle and everyone is slow and compromised. Mirage isn't her best at a buffet. It turned out fine, except I can say Dan forgets to 'lead;' me as Mirage does. He just forgets I can't see as well as I once did, not so long ago.

So, my neighbor John told me about a cool way to sow seeds.
Make a paste of flour and water and dab a pattern onto a paper towel. When dry, plant the whole thing, or cut into strips for successive plantings.
Mirage and I had fun mixing the paste and squirting dollops onto the paper. She looked on eagerly like a kid about to lick the cookie bowl.
(Dan said, "Mirage, when has Mommy ever allowed you to lick the bowl?)
Well, as usual, the last laugh was on me :-)
As I admired the seed sheets drying in the afternoon sun I noticed something peculiar. . .
Mirage, not the golden beet seeds!!

"It was a sunny day, all the birdies tweet, 'It's May.'
Mirage was begging me to plant carrots, lots of carrots.
"Not a chance!" Mirage shows no restraint in the face of raspberries and tomatoes. .
Instead we plant arugula, basil, beets, radishes, romaine and Swiss chard.We've heard about a new technique. Make a paste of flour and water. Dot the goo at intervals on a paper towel and stick a few seeds on each plop. When dry, lay the seed paper on the soil and cover to one half inch.

In just a few weeks a perfectly spaced garden. We are using the Square Foot Gardening Method so our bed looks like a pretty quilt.

I would have liked to join a CSA (community supported agriculture) but know I could not eat my share, and could not find a second for the veggie feast. Well, Mirage I guess this might have worked for You and me, huh girl?

Wow, I have looked forward to this day for weeks.
Our cyber friends, Becky and Cricket, met us today at PDX ( Portland International Airport). They were here so Cricket could have a canine opthamologist check out Becky's guide dog's eyes. It is not melanoma, just freckles. . .Thanks be to God!
And as a side bar we met for lunch with Debi, her friend and GDB foster mom at the Rose City Diner.
It is amazing enough, that in this day and age we can meet friends via a cable, and Love them! Since meeting Becky and Cricket in cyber space we have grown to really see them and be profoundly influenced by their lives; their Goodness and inspiring lives.
I am in AWE of this day's unfolding; Blessed and awestruck.
When I think blind people are empty vessels, I am wrong.
The power and Absolute grace of living Blind, is enough to bring me to my knees.
Thank You God for Today and This age in which souls can communicate the unspoken language of Amazing! And our dogs think, "Business as usual. . . .".

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Kibbles or Kisses?
Today while returning from the gym I discovered a lack of Kibble in my coat pocket..
Oh my Goodness!
What to do. . . .we still had blocks to go. Thoughtfully I leaned forward to touch my lips to her silky black crown; Kisses!
I remember they are as necessary as nickels to a sweet dog just doing her JOB.
Peace and Love to you, Mirage